Some environments are really toxic to be in. It’s easy to get bogged down. To feel isolated and powerless. You may find yourself fighting battles constantly.
As I’ve written in another post, https://aneternaltraveler.wordpress.com/2013/11/20/do-what-you-have-to-do-its-only-temporary/ sometimes you have to do what you have to do right now and remember it’s temporary.
Today we’re going to talk about how you can do it so that you feel like you’re paying dues for a membership you actually want
In my current work situation for whatever reason, I’ve become the target for people’s hatred. I walk into work and I can guarantee with 100% certainty that I will be told something negative. I am on a team where instead of them having my back, I have to watch my back.
Now if I wanted to I could go into battle with these people everyday. I did this for the first month. It sucked. And it sucked because I made the assumption that these people wanted things to be peaceful and harmonious. I assumed talking to them would lead to greater understanding and better teamwork.
When I finally realized that I was the only one who wanted this and I had pushed myself to exhaustion to try to achieve it, I took a step back to reassess. It shouldn’t be this hard. “Why do they seem full of energy while I’m running on empty?” Well simply put, they put their energy where it worked best for them – keeping things status quo. I put my energy where it didn’t work best for me – trying to change their status quo.
So here’s the tough part – finding the courage to,
Let go of the way you’ve been doing things AND use your energy to put you where you want to be.
For me this boiled down to two choices – go to battle in the trenches, hand-to-hand-combat-style, every time a challenge is presented or think like the General of my own life and strategize a workaround where I could focus on what will advance me forward.
First and foremost, I will remind myself that my energy belongs to me. I can choose where to put it.
Moving forward, when someone tries to engage me in a fight, I will not give them my energy by engaging them back. Instead, I will use my energy to think about how to best advance myself.
A better use of my energy would be to, research positions on the company website that I’d like to hold. Forming a good relationship with my boss so I have his support to get to my destination. Staying in contact with him as the pettiness comes up to make sure he knows my viewpoint and to ensure we stay on the same page. Finally, stay proactive – present my boss with solutions in the form of positions I’m interested in and qualified for and ask for his advice about moving me into one of them.
If I’m fighting, fighting, fighting in the trenches, I’ll be chronically exhausted. I know because I’ve been fighting there for awhile now and I’m chronically exhausted. Pretty simple equation.
Trying to get people who don’t care about you, to care about you, is not only a losing battle, it is a sign that you’re investing more in others opinion of you than you are in yourself and your own well-being.
I’m not willing to do another battle and stay entrenched in the pettiness. I’m going to focus on what will help me move forward and stop treading water in a bad situation.
How have you changed your perspective in a bad situation and come out ahead?
With love from aneternaltraveler 😉