Too often we get distracted by the pretty sounding words that spill out so easily from another person’s mouth. We are kept in place and held up from creating meaningful relationships with people who go beyond words and show you how they feel.
How often have you encountered someone who says things like,
“I miss you”
“I love you”
“We should get together”
“I support you”
…but they make no effort to show you?
You can say you love me, you miss me, you want to get together, or whatever else you want, but if you don’t make the effort and show me, then you may as well not say it at all.
When you base your decisions and life choices on people who offer little more than words, you are denying yourself a world of genuine happiness and authenticity.
Do you have friendships with people who say they miss you, but never make and effort to see you? Are you in a romantic relationship where the person says, I love and support you, but there is no evidence that this is the case or they even sabotage your efforts when the time for action comes? Are you that person? Think long and hard. This is not a dress rehearsal. You get one shot at life.
How many times have you ignored the lack of evidence and continued to hang on to the words instead? How long have you been waiting for the other person to make it happen? How much space have you given people in your life that don’t demonstrate that they value you in theirs? Have you ever been the one to give someone false hope?
Friendships, romantic relationships, professional relationships require effort from all parties involved in order to be successful for all parties involved. Every time you allow someone to stay “rent free” (that is; all talk, no action) in your life, you are diminishing your own happiness and giving space to emotional freeloaders. The same applies for those who string people along to avoid taking action in their own lives. You don’t get a free pass.
To turn it all around, begin by just noticing the people in your life that are following through on what they say and those who are not. Just take notice. You’ll be surprised how just seeing the lack of evidence will give you a reality check in your life.
When you’re ready to make the change into a life filled with people who SHOW you, not just TELL you, here’s a little “empowerment mantra” I developed which you can borrow to keep you on track:
“Please understand that in order for me to take you seriously, you’ll have to make an actual effort to bring your said desire into reality with me. Please also understand that the available space in my life is only reserved for those who will follow-through.”
You can have the life you want, but it all starts with taking off the blinders in your current reality and making the effort yourself to focus on quality of life.
——Please share your thoughts on how your life changed when you got real about the “talkers” vs. the “doers” in your life.—–
–With love from aneternaltraveler 😉