Up by 5:30 am. Rushing to arrive in time to receive the Compostela for completion of the 500 mile / 800 km journey across the north of Spain. Then the Pilgrim’s Mass at 12:00 noon in the Cathedral where we can’t miss the gigantic swinging incense burner. After that, check-in to a hotel, eat something, take pictures, feel like crashing but it is too late to sleep. So you push on.
After finally getting to bed, you realize you don’t need to set an alarm or walk tomorrow for the first time in 35 days.
I slept very well.
I got up. Ate breakfast. Booked my train ticket to Madrid. Tried to figure out when I’d go to Finesterre. Saw people I’d probably never see again. Gave hugs…
Then a range of feelings set in all at once. Sadness, anger, boredom and exhaustion.
I wanted to push them all away so it would hurt less. Every hug was another goodbye. Another cord connecting me to a fellow pilgrim was cut. And another. And on and on. I became so sad and angry over the feeling of constant loss that I went back to my hotel and hid myself just to deal with it and try to recover.
These were once the familar faces that encouraged you on the way, shared their stories. People I saw everyday. It is like a family that you get to choose. These are special people. Then they disappear from your daily life one by one.
I am trying my best to deal with this unexpected feeling on the camino. We are no longer planning together to get to the same destination. We are now planning how to go our separate ways.
I feel a terrible severing.
Buen camino from aneternaltraveler ;(