Invisible Widget

In a world that moves too fast for dreams to take root, no wonder you’re disappointed.  Where is the safe place in your socially networked mind that you go to get some peace? Who are YOU? A profile, a mask, an image, a task, a job, a role, an invisible widget in something that feels like life?  I ask you WHERE are YOU?  What would you call yourself if you didn’t have a name?

I’m filled with many unanswered questions too!  I walk out into the big wide world and think, what the fuck am I going to do? Success may be fleeting, but what else makes living worthwhile? So we figure out where we’ve failed in the first part of life and then spend the second half making a self-improvement plan and celebrating the little victories.  The hope is that maybe everything we do will make just a little bit of sense. Just enough to keep us waking, working, striving, rinsing, and repeating.

Do you have a dream? Remember when it felt like you had time to dream?  You took that for granted didn’t you. And now you wish for naps in the middle of the day where your mind could just float away and nobody snapped you back to anything that was more important – called REALITY.

Recently, I’ve started dreaming again and now it looks like the first step of one of my dreams is about to come true. Nothing could both excite and terrify me more. I wasn’t sure I could allow myself to dream after years of shutting them down. And here I am again, almost 40 and about to start school again en route to a new career (middle school science teacher!). It feels different that it did when I was in my 20’s in grad school. Sometimes I wonder if I can make it through!

I think acting on your dreams is scary business especially when you stopped even daring to dream for so long. When we take the next step into action, we make it real. We bet the house on ourselves. Sometimes, that bet doesn’t feel like a sure thing. It is an act of faith towards ourselves. Sometimes we need time to prove to ourselves that our faith is well placed.

One step at a time.

–<3 with love from aneternaltraveler 😉

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