50 First Dates

Online dating aka 50 first dates. That’s how it feels. Date after date saying the same things and trying to feel excited about it. But what you really want inside is to find someone with whom you can move beyond the 1st date spiel.

I get it, dating when you’re close to or over 40 has it’s challenges. I put real effort into it and currently date about 3 different men a week. I really want my forever guy. I don’t date men who are not looking for a serious relationship or who are looking for hook-ups. You have to keep away from the time wasters and the people with whom you have nothing important in common.

Still I feel tired, to be honest. Coffee dates, lunch dates, dinner dates, museum dates. After while, it all swirls together. It is as if I’m looking for something long term in a casual way. Who can remember their names even after awhile. It reminds me of rummaging through a sale bin looking for that one item that stands out.

These are the moments when I especially wish my ex-boyfriend would have stuck together and worked things out. Sometimes, I picture these scenarios where he is experiencing the same online dating B.S. and it compells him to pick up the phone and say, I don’t know what I was thinking when I broke up with you, it sucks out here and nothing going on between us is worse than this scene. Let’s work this out.  Sound good? That’s when I sigh and say, thank god. I thought you’d never come to your senses. And they lived happily ever after. The End.

…and I’m awake.

So if and until that fantasy is brought into reality, it looks like I’ll be treading water in the sea of love looking for the right fish to swim by my side. 

With love from aneternaltraveler 😉

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