Category Archives: Fear

Don't Give Up on Yourself!

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Recently I was in a car accident within a couple of weeks of accepting a brand new job.  I was T-boned on the drivers side and my car was totaled.  I suffered a concussion and sprained my neck.  The doctor told me that because I worked out so much, I got away pretty lucky because my body could sustain the impact better than someone who wasn’t so physically fit.  Still, I had a lot of healing to do.

Leading up to this, I was working out 6 days/week at that time doing a 6 week to shred program (Jim Stoppani’s 6-week Shortcut to Shred…highly recommend it). I was studying to become a personal trainer.  I felt amazing physcially, mentally and emotionally.  Even though my life was hardly in any kind of perfect working order, it felt manageable.

After my car wreck, I couldn’t work out for awhile so that I could heal completely (doctor’s orders).  That was really tough.  I felt like I lost another part of myself.  I continued to work both of my jobs with some days being 13 hrs on my feet.  I’m typically a very highly energetic person, but I was wiped out.  My energy was at an all time low point.  

At some point I think I just gave up on myself.  I stopped working out completely for almost 3 months and ended up on the couch more nights than I’d like to mention ordering delivery.  Sometimes, I’d skip dinner completely and just order 3 pieces of chocolate cake.  It felt like I had no time or energy anymore to do the other things that were important to my well-being.  I just worked and ate, rinse and repeat.  I felt terrible. I had really let myself go.

Today I made up my mind to hit the gym and get started again.  Hell or high water I was going directly after work.  I packed my gym bag the night before and threw it in the passenger seat on my way to work to remind me. I took the advice I give others – even if it is just 20 min. it is better than sitting on the couch.  Do something.  You’ll feel better.

So, I jumped on the arc trainer for 20 minutes.  I still felt ok, so I eyed up the weight area and said longingly, well I guess I could do a few curls. Aerosmith was blasting in my ears and kept me going. Before I knew it I had been there over an hour!!  

As I was driving home, I realized how good I felt in my body and mind again.  When I arrived and set my things down it was chore time. Suddenly, all the little chores that have been pissing me off for the past few months seemed easier and faster to get done.  The dishwasher was emptied, clothes put away, cat litter box scooped, cats fed, dinner made, mail sorted all within less than an hour.  

Sometimes in life, we get so busy that we give up the things that made us feel good.  Sometimes we can let one bad event snowball into a whole bunch of other bad habits. We stop taking care of ourselves and hope we can function on an empty tank.  WE CAN’T!! But you can pick yourself up and get back on track.  One day at a time. Small steps.  You’ll get there again. 

Hitting the gym was a huge part of my life.  It made me feel good in every way.  I released the stress of the day so it didn’t pile up into the next day.  Releasing endorphins helped me relax.  I was physically stronger.  Life went smoother and I could think clearly. Frankly, I was a whole lot more pleasant to be around too!

So when YOU think about giving up those good habits that keep your tank full, think again!  Take care of YOU first and everything else will fall into and out of place.  What’s meant to be there will stay and what you’re meant to let go of will fall away.  

Personally, I got a really good wake up call today and I’m going to keep working out.

What will you do to take care of yourself better ?

Thanks for stopping by…be good to yourself.

— Don’t just be a follower, be a leader.  Leave a comment and start a discussion. — aneternaltraveler

 

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And so it begins…

When I was a child, my mother asked me ‘what I wanted to be when I grew up?’, as parents often do.  I said,

 Mom, I want to learn all the languages and cultures of the world so I can get to know what’s in people’s hearts.  That way someday I can show them how to come together in peace.

Looking back, my mom must have thought I was a quite a handful!  I was always the do-gooder type that wanted to help people around the world.

As life progressed, I loved having the opportunity to travel even if it was only for business.  Over time, I’d seen 20 countries on 5 continents and I lived for over a year in Ecuador.  I never wanted it to end.  I thought I was unstoppable.

However, during the past few years, I’ve gone through some really rough times and my confidence was shaken.  A tough divorce, fighting like the be-jesus to try to hang on to my house, watching the business I’d built phase out, and finding myself taking on two jobs to cover the bills rolling in. That’s not even to speak of the wall of distrust that built up around me which has made relationships of any kind pretty challenging to say the least.  I felt alone and isolated.  I was treading water.

Occasionally, my inner adventurer would poke me and ask, “When are we leaving?” or say things like, “What are you doing here?” I learned to squash that voice for awhile reminding it of our “survival” and my “new found belief in practicality”.

Somehow, I connected the events in my life to being irresponsible and impractical.  Because I didn’t fit into a “proper” box, I should work harder to shove myself in there and work it with a smile from 9-5, damn it!  “Then bad things like these wouldn’t happen to you”, I said.

I told myself to grow up! because that’s what I thought all grown ups eventually did.  They gave up their dreams and settled (down). My whole life I rebelled against this for the simple fact that I never met a grown up who was happier at work than they were at happy hour.

No matter how hard I tried to shut myself down, eventually my mind made me listen to that voice.  I was terrified.  I began to sob.  I knew I wasn’t happier in this cookie cutter life.  I proved that I was responsible and practical and that I could work 9-5.  I could get through a divorce and keep my house. And now what?

I felt like I was trapped in the Matrix and I wanted to swallow a red pill and see how deep the rabbit hole goes.

So, I did and I’m about to find out what’s down there.