Tag Archives: Affirmation

You’re Nobody’s Fool: Realistic Optimism

can or cant you're rightIn a culture whose mantra has become, “what you believe, you conceive”, we could use a cold bucket of reality to wake us up every once in a while. While I tend to look on the bright side of things, I wouldn’t consider myself an optimist.  Quite frankly, I think these definitions are too oversimplified to be helpful.

I think we can all agree that being a “Debby or Dan Downer” with things in life can be just as bad as expecting to shit out rainbows for breakfast everyday. Total realism, on the other hand, is like a dry piece toast; edible but not enjoyable. Extremes in any form are not healthy, no matter which way you slice it.

I like to think of myself as a Realistic Optimist which I define as, someone who goes into a situation filled with the hope of a good outcome, but who is realistic enough to know when enough evidence to the contrary says it is is time to walk away.

So, I find promoting the idea that “what we believe we can make true” without any caveatsOptimist-Pessimist-Realist-Quote is both irresponsible and untrue.  For example, no matter how much we may believe and conjure up all our will power, hope, and commitment towards changing someone, we cannot make an individual do something they don’t want to do.  We cannot make them change.  We cannot make someone care. We cannot force love. None of these things are possible through the power of thought.

You don’t need to put up with someone’s crap just because you want to show how positive you are. Or how kind you are. Or how loving. Here’s another newsflash, they are not going to change for you. They are an asshole despite you. You sticking around will only wear you out. It will not cause them to change.

I promise you that they will not wake up one day and say, WOW!! Because she’s/he’s stuck around all this time while I’ve busted up every boundary she/he has, taken all my shenanigans in stride, and given her/himself up for me, I’m TOTALLY READY TO SUDDENLY BECOME (WO)MAN OF HER/HIS DREAMS NOW.

Bengen_optimist_pessimist_realist
Translation: (L-R) My glass is half full. My glass is half empty. My glass is half past eight 🙂 Good German Humor..

It is fine to give someone chances, but have a time limit in mind.  Showing yourself less love will not make someone change unless you want that someone to be YOU. You have not been put on this earth to martyr yourself.  You don’t have to stay in a place that sucks. You can do better. It may not feel like it at first, but being alone is better than having your soul sucked out by someone else who means you and the relationship no good.

What do you think?

with love from aneternaltraveler 😉

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Write a Love Letter to Yourself: (HINT: The waiting is over ;)

Dear Self,

Please hug yourself more. Accept the beautiful person you are. Please love yourself and nurture your soul.  There will never be another you and another version will never do. Just be YOU.

Do you know that you have a smile that reminds people that joylove letters to myself still exists in this world? When you laugh the child in you comes out to play. Protect her and check-in often. She’ll keep you true to yourself.

Please make choices that honor yourself beyond all else. It’s ok to be lost sometimes.  But if you want to know your purpose when times get hard or confusing —  remember it is what drives you, not just what you can do. Please also remember that no matter what, the love you have for yourself is the most important kind of love there is. Just look inside and you will find the right answer waiting for you.

You are both bright and compassionate. You can trust your heart and mind. Never let anyone try to convince you otherwise. It hasn’t always been easy for you and you are allowed to admit that too. Pat yourself on the back more often, because no matter how down and out, you’ve always made it through.

You have a resiliency that keeps you bouncing back long after others would have laid down for the count.  You are a true champion because you’ve learned what’s worth fighting for and what’s not worth the effort anymore. Never be afraid to stand up for who you are and what you believe in.  Never silence your voice –especially in the face of violence or exploitation.

You are beautiful inside and out. Stay true to who you are. People say you look younger than your age. Somehow, despite all that tough times, you’ve managed to hold on to hope and see the glass half full. You don’t act your age either. What a wonderful thing that is to still believe in magic. Remember what you truly believe always shows through. Your face will always tell the story of YOU.

As you go through life, remember to forgive – yourself and others. You will have to do it often, so develop that skill early and thoroughly.  When you feel like judging yourself or others, just stop. It doesn’t serve you or anyone else.  Try instead to understand others perspectives.

With all that you have learned and everything you are thus far not to mention the places you’ll venture off to, there is no doubt in my heart that you will find all of the true loves you are destined for.  Just keep being YOU and loving the heck out of yourself.

Love,

Myself

— with love from aneternaltraveler 😉

Peace Be with You

I had this sent to me in an email today and I wanted to share it with all of you. I could think of nothing more to add. I hope you enjoy it.

“Today may there be peace within. May you trust that you are exactly where you are meant to be.

May you not forget the infinite possibilities that are born of faith in yourself and others.

May you use the gifts that you have received and pass on the love that has
been given to you.

May you be content with yourself just the way you are.

Let this knowledge settle into your bones, and allow your soul the freedom to sing, dance, praise and love.

It is there for each and every one of us.”

With love from aneternaltraveler ; )

Just be Willing

frustration Yesterday I was down for the count with a stomach virus and that gave me a lot of time on my hands I’m not used to having.  As I thought on the changes I’d like to make in my life, I scoured the internet for resources to teach me HOW to get there.  I settled on “You Can Heal Your Life” , by Louise Hay and immediately downloaded it onto my Kindle.  I’m so glad I did.

I highly recommend this book for anyone who feels like their life isn’t working and hasn’t a clue where to start.  I devoured the book in one day and  put it into practice when I woke up this morning.

One of the chapters of her books asks you to write down all the negative things you were told as a child by adults and  compare them to the negative things you say about yourself.  Then look at what’s happening in your life and see if the negative outcomes match the negative thoughts you have about yourself.  By golly, they did!  I was hooked!

The theory here boils down to this – you get what you think you should.  So, if you think positively you should see it show up in your life the same way you do when you think negatively.

Just to give you an idea of the negative thoughts that go through my mind, I’ll make a list of my top 10.  Perhaps, you share some of these as well.

You Get What You Think

  1. Nobody is there for me
  2. Nobody respects me or sees my value
  3. Nobody listens to me
  4. Everybody picks on me
  5. I’m never happy in my jobs
  6. I’m bad with people
  7. I don’t know what I want
  8. I’m a failure at life
  9. I never have enough money
  10. I never meet the right guys

Ok, so guess what I have in my life right now with these thoughts?  I have difficulty with people at work, I don’t get respect, I am surrounded by constant conflict, don’t have enough income and I don’t in fact meet guys that feel right for me.  Surprise, surprise!!

expect good things

Change Your Mind

So, today I decided to start to retrain the brain.  I selected a few general affirmations and a few specific ones that spoke to me and repeated them throughout the day.  Here’s what I chose:

General Affirmations

  1. “I approve of myself”
  2. “I am willing to change”
  3. “I am willing to release all my resistance”
  4. “I am willing to release my need for…(ie. approval)
  5. “I now realize that I have created this condition.  I am willing to release the pattern in my consciousness that is responsible for this condition.”
  6. “I trust that the universe is providing for me everything that I need and I am safe and well taken care of.”

Specific Affirmations

  1. “I am willing to release the need to be unworthy.  I am worthy of the very best in life and I now lovingly allow myself to accept it.”
  2. “I am totally open and receptive to a wonderful new position, one that uses all my talents and abilities, and allows me to express creatively in ways that are fulfilling to me. I work with and for people whom I love, and who love and respect me, in a wonderful location and earning good money”
  3. “I am willing to release my need to be noticed”
  4. “I am willing to release my need for praise”
  5. “I choose to let go of my anger, so that I make better clearer decisions.”

Entering a Brand New Day…

As soon as my alarm clock went off I committed myself to saying 5 things I’m grateful for before I could sit up on my bed.  Then, I read the affirmations above before I was allowed to stand.  Finally, I walked to the mirror and read  http://aplacefortheheart.co.uk/louise-hay/louise-hay-affirmations/ while looking into my own eyes.

Throughout the day, I reminded myself of those affirmations.  I even brought my index card of affirmations with me in case I forgot.  When a negative thought came in, I said STOP! and replaced it with a gratitude and another affirmation.

One of the great pieces of advice that was offered is that you don’t have to know “HOW” it will happen you just have to be “WILLING”.  Basically, the change in mindset will send a signal to the universe that the expectations have changed.  Be patient and consistent.

It’s Working!

Already today, I noticed MAJOR differences.  First and foremost, I literally had ZERO conflict in my work day at either job. That’s 14 hrs conflict free. I haven’t had a day like that in months.  Even when I got a rude email, I took a deep breath replied kindly, let it go and went on about my day.

I received more smiles, more cooperation, warmer relations and even had an easier time in traffic leaving me with enough time to get some shopping done, order dinner, and get 15 min. in a massage chair all before my next job started.

The point is…it all went smoother.  I was calmer.  I felt like I was in the moment and I enjoyed my day!  This was enough to convince me to carry on using this new method.

I’m looking forward to discovering what I can create by simply changing my own thoughts.

How have you brought about change in your life by a simple shift in focus?

With love from aneternaltraveler 😉

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