Tag Archives: authentic self

Soul Food

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Ok. First things first! I’m bragging on this slapped together recipe. It’s sooooo good. My Jamaican neighbor keeps me supplied with “Jamaican Kale” throughout the summer and I constantly try to find new things to do with it.

So, what’s in it?:
Bunch of Jamaican Kale
A few roasted red peppers
Can of Atrichoke Hearts
1/4 c. Feta cheese
Sauteed in olive oil with crushed garlic, pepper & salt
Put on top of a whole wheat pita and enjoy!

I was in a funk still today. This getting over my ex thing is harder than I thought it would be. I mean could I jump into another relationship?  Sure. I could distract myself with casual flings. I could pretend that I never felt anything for him. I could drink heavily to dull the hurt. There are a lot of not so great things I could do that would only make things worse.

Or….

I could take care of my soul. I could eat well and enjoy the scents of cooking a meal with fresh ingredients. I could play music and compose again, I could reconnect with people I’ve lost contact with. I could exercise and pamper myself. And frankly, I can take care of myself intimately until someone who really lights my soul on fire takes over other duties as assigned ūüôā

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Me "playing" my dad's guitar

I know everyone is different when it comes to coping with things. I personally take awhile to get over the end of serious relationships. I am a very sensitive person in that I am very emapthetic so I really feel things. I’m not the type that can turn that off. Its just part of my make up. I always want things to end well. Often, I struggle to understand why people wouldn’t do everything they can to bring about peaceful endings.

I am a mess of a person like we all are in some way, I guess. I’ve got quirks and dysfunctions and sometimes I wonder how to make it through this world a prisioner inside my own head.

I think most of us are just trying to move through life and sqeeze as much pleasure out if it as we can. We hope to know our greatest pleasure in our own lifetime. We assume it will reveal itself as another person who looks deeply into our soul and says, “I accept you” and sticks around forever loving you for being that person.

In the meanwhile, I think the greatest thing we can do for our single selves is love the hell out of ourselves; getting to know and accepting every nook and cranny until we’re completely irresistible.

I’m starting to think it’s not about being perfect or figuring out what’s wrong with you. The road to fulfilling life cannot possibly be among the pages of self-help books aimed to fix you. I have done this my whole life and I’ve really just managed to feel worse about myself. I mean what if the only thing wrong with me is that I don’t accept myself fully? What if instead of focusing on what needs to be fixed, I focused on accepting the person who is there and loving her to pieces? What if I fell in love with her “as is”? I wonder what would happen if we all did that?

If you’re like me and haven’t found a partner that loves (aka fully accepts) the person you are and finds you irresistible enough to want to spend forever by your side, let’s make a pact.

We will give ourselves the love we want from someone else. We will treat ourselves right. We will do for ourselves what we want from them. We will go alone to places we want to go together with them.

This way when he/she comes along we will recognize them as the right fit because s/he treats us that good.

With love from aneternaltraveler ūüėČ

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On Being Seen

Choking back my tears , she caressed my face  and said, “promise me you’ll find someone who sees you and let him see the person I see.”

This breakup has been a challenge. There are so many questions left unanswered. I wish he’d have mercy on me and call. He knows how much it hurts. He does it anyway. There are so many mistakes I’ve made in this relationship. That’s not to say it was all my fault,  but it is important to reflect on what you could do differently.

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In fact, all this time away has helped me see a pattern which exists in all my relationships. First, I believe I don’t choose very reliable men. I have a fear of being abandoned buried in my psyche.  Every once in awhile it bubbles up in all its glory for another horrifying look.

I pick men who have a history of leaving the women they’re with and often in humiliating ways. My ex-husband trashed a 20-yr. marriage in the blink of an eye to be with me. There was even a kid involved. When it came to be my turn, he left me just as coldly for someone else that he had been sleeping with. My current ex-boyfriend, screwed around on his wife with more than 10 women behind her back. He even went so far as to bad mouth how “she treated him” to his family in order to get sympathy. Do you think he told his family about his adulterous acts? Hell no. Next thing you know a 10 yr. relationship went down the drain because “he wasn’t happy”. He divorced her!  And now here I am,  left by him without more curteousy than a text message. Coward.

I believe that people can change, but sometimes I give people who don’t deserve it waaaaaay too many chances to prove (in the end) that they couldn’t give a shit about me. It is all about them and their needs.

Why is it that we always want the ones who don’t see us and never the ones who do?

As much as I or anyone has issues, you have to be able to talk with your partner – to go deep and have those vulnerable conversations about how much of a mess you are in parts of your self. That person has to stick around and love you still after that. They can’t disappear. They can’t sort of be there. They have to feel solid.

That was really missing from my last relationship. I hung on for so long hoping it would happen, but ultimately,  he couldn’t hang in there with me. He didn’t see me and he didn’t

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look long enough to even give it a fair try. No, he thought I was damaged. He went to therapy trying to find the right mental illness for me. He trash talked me to my best friend. He “loved” me in facebook with his sweet messages that friends and family would lap up, but he couldn’t manage to even pick up the phone to talk to me half the time.

It was a real mindfuck. On one hand he’d help me out keeping things tidy around the house or paying for this and that, on the other he’d emotionally terrorize me or always threaten to walk out.

I lived in such a state of constant flux, that I never knew what I’d get. He brought out the very worst in me. So many times he triggered past memories of my own child abuse and he’d laugh about it. He’d egg me on, telling me to hit him. It was so ugly.

I felt so on edge all the time. I felt fearful and ready to fight all the time. He would never calm down until he’d run through his rage.  I told him so many times what this does to me and how much it triggers my past, but any apology was temporary. Sooner or later he’d be back at it again. 

The more I think about it, emotionally, that man never showed up to support me. In fact many times he just down right sabotaged me when I need him the most. He was so selfish and needy. Even when I was sick and couldn’t talk after a surgery, he took advantage.

So…in summary…Here’s what I’ve learned:

Step one – pick ’em better.

Step two – be more tolerant of the stuff that doesn’t matter and less tolerant of the red-flag-waving bullshit.

Step three – pick someone who sees me.

…And she let’s out a big sigh and blogs on through this life learning a little more about something everyday….

With love from aneternaltraveler ūüėČ

The Road to Happiness

Everyone wants to be happy. We live in a society where any inconvenient thought or feeling is considered “drama.”

How do we find our happy place? Can we plot out our journey with happiness as the final destination? Can we steer clear of the “drama” until we are only sourrounded by people with no needs at all? Will that make us happy?

Avoiding unhappiness, is not the road to happiness

How many times have you heard yourself say, I need to get away? How many times have you walked out on people or situations that challenged you to stay present? How many times have you drunk, smoked, fucked, shopped, etc. too much just to avoid facing the unhappiness in your life? You’re not alone. This is a place where we can stop lying to ourselves, put down the mask and look into the mirror.

People are not happier because they’ve been through so little. They are happy because of how they handled getting through so much.¬†

Fear: Ah yes! Your fear can kill you from within making you second guess yourself into inaction.¬† Fearing death makes you afraid to live. To really live is to smile at the face of death and say “thank you for one more day”.

Happiness is in all the moments on the periphery.

It does not come when we try to force it or search for it or put a laser focus on it. It is when we stop looking that we catch glimpses of it out of the corners of our eyes. It is there in the moments we are enjoying a conversation, a play, the birth of our child, a five second orgasm. It is the moment when we confess to another our truth and they say with their eyes, I love you as you are.

Clariry of Purpose is knowing what you’re willing to lose to keep that happiness.

The key to everlasting happiness is knowing what you value the most and relentlessly pursuing it with all your might for the rest of your life.

For example, if the happiness of your spouse makes you happy and s/he is currently suffering, then you will not feel well either. You will feel her pain, suffer with him.  Your happiness will elude you. Therefore, you must work for her happiness directly and your own, indirectly. You see, your smile, your hapiness is the by-product of achieving what you value most Рthe hapiness of your wife.

Figure out what you value the most, pursue it tirelessly and you will know how to acheive everlasting happiness.

Mine is to be loved and accepted for who I truly am. This has been the main pursuit of my entire life. So goes the name…aneternaltraveler.¬†

What’s yours?

With love from aneternaltraveler ūüėČ

Failure Guaranteed. Success Optional.

I would say my biggest struggle throughout my life has been not feeling like I was good enough. ¬†I plugged along anyway and got things done, but I always wondered what it would feel like to accomplish those things without that crippling handicap.¬†There is some part of me that still is not sure if I’m worth the trust I place in myself. I’ve been knocked around a lot and it gets harder to get up each time. ¬†I always do, but I never quite heal fully.

There are times when I’ve held on to relationships longer than I should have just because I felt safer having a second person as a back up plan to myself.

I’ve pretended not to feel bad to my “support network” because I learned that I couldn’t count on people to stick around when the going got tough.¬†

I believed that there was something so flawed about me that I couldn’t even correct it. ¬†I imagined that others found it so repulsive that eventually, they’d stop liking me (if they ever really did), stop wanting to be around me, and finally leave me.

I realize now that I had learned not to trust myself or others.  Instead, I taught myself to be self-sufficient to a fault. I taught myself to rely on no one. To hide myself and quietly toll along.

A¬†part of me hoped I would¬†arrive at some destination where everything would fall into place – I’d be successful and people would really like me, hear me, and stay for a change.

I realize now that I had taught myself to believe that no matter what I accomplished in life, it was because of a force outside of myself and it had nothing to do with me. Yet I was always responsible for the failures.  Interesting how that works!

When you don’t know how it works, it all seems like magic!

You hope that success in one area equals success in all areas by proxy. Sort of like believing that if you get¬†that promotion you’ve been working for, you’ll also magically lose weight, get in shape, get great friends, and find the someone of your dreams. When only one of those things happen because it was the only one you were putting effort into, it can feel disappointing if you believe that mainly outside forces control the outcomes in your life. It can seem like with all the good energy being put into the universe, all your wishes should come true even if you didn’t do anything more than wish.

I think one of the hardest things to give up is a fear of your own success.

Yes! You heard me right. ¬†Fear of Success. We can actually become comfortable with our lives and our ingrained thought processes even when they do us no good. ¬†If you’re afraid of succeeding you can often sabotage your efforts to keep yourself stuck in place. It’s a bit like an addiction. You do it compulsively even though you know better. Giving it up is a major stressor. It forces you to rethink everything in your life.

That’s just hard because the brain likes predictable things to work with. ¬†It likes to think as little as possible. So, you’re literally messing with your own head when you force it to change the message based on how you look at your accomplishments.

You can’t keep reasonably telling yourself you’re a worthless, no good, failure when you keep succeeding. And especially because¬†despite that awful voice in your head, you’ve succeeded! That’s really a feat to be proud of!

Letting yourself be proud means letting go of the tapes in your head that trained you to believe otherwise about yourself.

When it all boils down it sometimes helps me to remember that failure is guaranteed. Success is optional.

I’ll write more in future blogs about the fear of failure vs. the fear of success so it can be a more expanded discussion. I just wanted to get this out.

with love from aneternaltraveler ūüėČ

Self-Love is NOT the Cure for Self-Hate

A step in the journey to self-love - Camino de Santiago.
A step in the journey to self-love – Camino de Santiago.

Self-love is not the cure for self-hate, it is the result of a healing process.

You must make your mind up that you will love yourself, but then go through the healing process. Most people just wear a mask of fake self-love or pretend to be selfless, but that’s not what it is.

You can’t fake it till you make it. You have to do the work to get to the other side. There are no shortcuts.

Here’s my 5 step plan. It’s what I did. It worked for me. It may work for you too.

Cry if you have to cry

If you’re in pain just admit it and mourn it properly. Stop trying to deny it. Stop taking it out on other people. Just take some private time and admit you’re pissed about your dad, mom, upbringing, how you feel shorted, spoiled, at whatever disadvantage, feel victimized, abused, unheard, ugly, whatever it is. Cry it out as far as you can. Then, dry your eyes and go do something else that’s comforting and nurturing. Take a bath, a run, a ride on a bike or in your car, put on your favorite music, call a friend, read a book, jump up and down or do a happy dance. You just got real with yourself, mourned it, and let it be. You don’t need to dwell on it all damn day.

Stop Being Selfish

You spend all day long thinking of just yourself. Oh I hate myself, I suck, I’m not worthy, nobody likes me, everybody thinks I’m a loser, I have no friends…and on and on.
Turn off the broken record and go help someone out. Become a volunteer at an organization for people who are way worse off than you. I bet you probably have a home, food, a nice place to sleep, some money in your pocket. Lots of people don’t.

Challenge yourself with something that will prove to yourself what you’re capable of

I took a walk across a country for 500 miles to show myself what I was made of instead of continuing to assume I’m not capable. I just stopped my bitching and got moving. It scared the shit out of me. I did it anyway. ¬†Just that move showed me that I was courageous. What can you do to put yourself in that position? Because right now I’m sure you just have a long list of reasons why you suck and things you’re not good at. Why not find something that would test whether that’s true? Something where you’d have to make it work and prove yourself to yourself. I guarantee you will pleasantly surprise yourself.

Do little things that consistently make you feel good and proud of yourself

Some of the things that make me feel content are not in any way exciting sounding. In fact they are pretty mundane and ordinary, but they make me feel good inside. For example, I really like making sure my kitchen is clean. I like when I manage to cook a healthy meal and eat at home even when take out tempts me. I like when my cat eats all her food and is active and healthy. It makes me feel like I’m doing a good job of caring for another being. I feel loved for it in return (in the way only a cat can show:) I like when I have my best friend over and we talk even for a few minutes because I feel connected and enjoy exchanging ideas and humor over life’s adventures. I love bubble baths and when take care of myself and get enough sleep so I am ready for the next day. So you see, it doesn’t have to be some expensive thing or big ta-da – you don’t need surround sound in your living room or a better satellite package, you don’t need stuff. You need to do things that you feel good about. That make you feel proud of yourself. Things you can do everyday.

Maybe you’re right¬†

Maybe people don’t like you. Maybe you’re a genuine pain in the ass. Maybe you don’t take responsibility for your life and your actions. Maybe YOU need to change that instead of asking people to feel sorry for you. Maybe there really are good reasons why you feel these things. Maybe you’re putting your energy into manipulating people and whining instead of healing yourself. Maybe you should get off your ass and make the necessary adjustments to be a better person to the people around you and for the world you live in instead of waiting passively for someone to come along who “gets you” and makes you falsely feel “all better”.

The healing process sucks. I’m not going to lie. But what’s the alternative? — Keep bleeding out all over yourself and others? C’mon. I know you can do better than that. You deserve more than that. Go get it!

–with love from aneternaltraveler ūüėČ

Have You Settled for Less Yet?

yoloDo we all reach a point in our lives where even the most rebellious among us finds themselves settling? Have your dreams started to feel like old wrinkled black and white pictures of days gone by?  Do you even remember having a dream?

Is it that we reach a point in our lives in which we boil down to the bones what’s most important to us and go for that minimum? OR —¬†are¬†we settling for less because we are no longer willing to wait for our dreams to¬†come true?

I talk to a lot of people who have found themselves still working in a job 10-15 years later that they said was temporary. ¬†They were going to light the world on fire with their ideas. ¬†They weren’t gonna get caught up in it all. ¬†They were going to show us all how to live. We wanted to be them. ¬†Maybe we were them.

How about the women who have given up on meeting Mr. Right and have opted for Mr. Good Enough because at least she knows he’s real. ¬†It’s not passionate and everything you’ve dreamed, but it’s not lonely either.

And then,¬†I think of all the things most of us put off until (the) tomorrow (that never comes), and it feels like we take for granted the time we have and the people in our lives. ¬†Suddenly, one day you¬†wake up (usually about the time you notice¬†you’re really unhappy with your life) and realize that you’re¬†entrenched so deeply in the life¬†you¬†HAVE created, that the life we wanted has already passed you¬†by. Remember, those were those “crazy” choices that you talked yourself out of because it “wasn’t practical.”

As time goes on, we¬†start to rationalize things, especially our lives. ¬†We tell ourselves it isn’t that bad. We¬†have to make sense out of where we “ended up”,¬†right? How many of us have just moved¬†the goal post and tried to be happy about it? Or maybe you¬†openly admit that you’ve settled, because the alternative is trying to rebuild something better from scratch. ¬†Right now at least you’re living¬†some kind of successful life. ¬†And maybe that has¬†be good enough. ¬†Whether it is or it isn’t…

Because honestly, at this point what would motivate you to bother doing better?

With love from aneternaltraveler ūüėČ

Just be Willing

frustration Yesterday I was down for the count with a stomach virus and that gave me a lot of time on my hands I’m not used to having. ¬†As I thought on the changes I’d like to make in my life, I scoured the internet for resources to teach me HOW to get there. ¬†I settled on “You Can Heal Your Life” , by Louise Hay and immediately downloaded it onto my Kindle. ¬†I’m so glad I did.

I highly recommend this book for anyone who feels like their life isn’t working and hasn’t a clue where to start. ¬†I devoured the book in one day and ¬†put it into practice when I woke up this morning.

One of the chapters of her books asks you to write down all the negative things you were told as a child by adults and ¬†compare them to the negative things you say about yourself. ¬†Then look at what’s happening in your life and see if the negative outcomes match the negative thoughts you have about yourself. ¬†By golly, they did! ¬†I was hooked!

The theory here boils down to this Рyou get what you think you should.  So, if you think positively you should see it show up in your life the same way you do when you think negatively.

Just to give you an idea of the negative thoughts that go through my mind, I’ll make a list of my top 10. ¬†Perhaps, you share some of these as well.

You Get What You Think

  1. Nobody is there for me
  2. Nobody respects me or sees my value
  3. Nobody listens to me
  4. Everybody picks on me
  5. I’m never happy in my jobs
  6. I’m bad with people
  7. I don’t know what I want
  8. I’m a failure at life
  9. I never have enough money
  10. I never meet the right guys

Ok, so guess what I have in my life right now with these thoughts? ¬†I have difficulty with people at work, I don’t get respect, I am surrounded by constant conflict, don’t have enough income and I don’t in fact meet guys that feel right for me. ¬†Surprise, surprise!!

expect good things

Change Your Mind

So, today I decided to start to retrain the brain. ¬†I selected a few general affirmations and a few specific ones that spoke to me and repeated them throughout the day. ¬†Here’s what I chose:

General Affirmations

  1. “I approve of myself”
  2. “I am willing to change”
  3. “I am willing to release all my resistance”
  4. “I am willing to release my need for…(ie. approval)
  5. “I now realize that I have created this condition. ¬†I am willing to release the pattern in my consciousness that is responsible for this condition.”
  6. “I trust that the universe is providing for me everything that I need and I am safe and well taken care of.”

Specific Affirmations

  1. “I am willing to release the need to be unworthy. ¬†I am worthy of the very best in life and I now lovingly allow myself to accept it.”
  2. “I am totally open and receptive to a wonderful new position, one that uses all my talents and abilities, and allows me to express creatively in ways that are fulfilling to me. I work with and for people whom I love, and who love and respect me, in a wonderful location and earning good money”
  3. “I am willing to release my need to be noticed”
  4. “I am willing to release my need for praise”
  5. “I choose to let go of my anger, so that I make better clearer decisions.”

Entering a Brand New Day…

As soon as my alarm clock went off I committed myself to saying 5 things I’m grateful for before I could sit up on my bed. ¬†Then, I read the affirmations above before I was allowed to stand. ¬†Finally, I walked to the mirror and read ¬†http://aplacefortheheart.co.uk/louise-hay/louise-hay-affirmations/¬†while looking into my own eyes.

Throughout the day, I reminded myself of those affirmations.  I even brought my index card of affirmations with me in case I forgot.  When a negative thought came in, I said STOP! and replaced it with a gratitude and another affirmation.

One of the great pieces of advice that was offered is that you don’t have to know “HOW” it will happen you just have to be “WILLING”. ¬†Basically, the change in mindset will send a signal to the universe that the expectations have changed. ¬†Be patient and consistent.

It’s Working!

Already today, I noticed MAJOR differences. ¬†First and foremost, I literally had ZERO conflict in my work day at either job. That’s 14 hrs conflict free. I haven’t had a day like that in months. ¬†Even when I got a rude email, I took a deep breath replied kindly, let it go and went on about my day.

I received more smiles, more cooperation, warmer relations and even had an easier time in traffic leaving me with enough time to get some shopping done, order dinner, and get 15 min. in a massage chair all before my next job started.

The point is…it all went smoother. ¬†I was calmer. ¬†I felt like I was in the moment and I enjoyed my day! ¬†This was enough to convince me to carry on using this new method.

I’m looking forward to discovering what I can create by simply changing my own thoughts.

How have you brought about change in your life by a simple shift in focus?

With love from aneternaltraveler ūüėČ

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In Search Of: Authenticity

 

There is such a vast outer world to discover that sometimes we can forget that so many of the great travel destinations are right inside of us in our inner world. In our search for answers, we should leave no stone unturned.

If we want to know our purpose, we have to get in touch with our authentic self.  Inside Out: Travel the World, Find Your Way Back is as much a journey to the see sights and wonders of the terra firma as it is the world within.

Sometimes the people we trust the most in our lives are the ones that keep us from staying in contact with our true selves.

Most of us feel insecure about something, but some people work so hard at hiding it that they create a false projection of themselves to hide behind. ¬†They “disown” the less¬†desirable¬†parts of themselves.

If you get too close to exposing the truth, they’ll flip the script and start accusing you of being all the ugly things that they feel about themselves inside.

It’s a bit like the “All Powerful Wizard” in the Wizard of Oz. A lot of smoke and mirrors and projections. ¬†But when you pull back the curtain you see that there is just a scared insecure little man.

Before we expose the “Great Oz” in our lives ¬†we can waste a lot of time trusting that someone else knows better than we do about our true nature. ¬†If these people happened to be your parents or romantic partners, it can be as devastating to reveal the truth as it is to endure the pain of being caught in this web of deceit.

As children we create dreams without boundaries.  We are innocent and unfiltered.  That kind of authenticity can make some adults feel threatened, even those who raise us.

Your beauty is like a constant spotlight on their shame and insecurity. Your¬†authenticity¬†reminds them that the¬†closest¬†they’ve ever come to that is a¬†projected¬†image (false self) and they want nothing more than to have the real thing.

So instead of facing their own pain they spend a lot of time insulting you in attempt to level the playing field.  They try to tear you down and transfer the ownership of their disowned parts onto you.

If you are a¬†sensitive¬†and empathetic person you’re even more likely to be targeted because you’ll actually seriously consider what people tell you and ¬†reflect on whether it may be true. ¬†Especially if you hear it from those you trust the most.

When you become convinced by their¬†opinion¬†of you, it can leave you feeling as though you’re deficient, broken, and unworthy, well into adulthood.

Your life becomes more about attempting to be good enough for others in hopes that someday you’ll get enough approval and confirmation that you are a successful person despite your inherent unworthiness. ¬†Unfortunately, this is a journey with no destination.

As a child we can’t just leave. ¬†We have to find a way to cope. ¬†Unfortunately, when we grow up we tend to keep coping the same way. ¬†So that even when we could walk away we don’t because we’ve learned how to stay, how to take the hits, how to second guess ourselves.

We’re often left with no clue about who we actually are since we’ve spent our lives being told instead of being given the freedom and the safety to explore that. As a result we find ourselves in friendships, work or romantic relationships that allow us to play a familiar role.

One of the biggest challenges for many people is coming to terms with the fact that they are playing a role in this.  Fact is, this dynamic can only exist with your participation.

For example, if we’re fighting their accusations, it says that we believe it enough on some level to defend ourselves. ¬†Otherwise, we wouldn’t even entertain it. ¬†We’d walk away or say goodbye.

As children we participate to survive, but as adults we have a choice. ¬†It is tough to even realize this if you’ve been raised with the mindset of a victim. You may not even know you’re allowed to take the wheel and choose the direction because no one taught you how to trust yourself and drive.

The good news is that the authentic you never really disappears, it just becomes hidden from view by a thick coat of other people’s disowned parts.

If you feel like you frequently experience a lot of inner conflict as if two parts of you are battling to the death it likely because you hold contradictory beliefs about yourself.  For example, you alternate between believing that you are a worthy person one minute and an unworthy one the next.

These contradictions cannot co-exist in you forever. At some point the internal pressure starts building up and it’s decision time. Something has got to give.

You’ll either give up and be convinced that you are worthless and live your life as a servant to the whims of others hoping to get in their good graces or you’ll ¬†unburden yourself from the emotional baggage you’ve carried for others, give it back to them, and live an authentic life in the driver’s seat as YOU!

In order to define success on our own terms and live an authentic life we must let go of what was never our burden to bear.  When we release that, our authentic self begins bubbling to the surface.

Get to know her/him again in all her/his awesomeness!  You may also find that you will stop participating in these toxic relationships in the same way.

Very often , people notice that when they stop complying to the whims of the toxic person, there are a lot more insults and/or silent treatment, bad-mouthing and smearing flying their way.

Believe it or not this is a good sign.  It means that the toxic person feels threatened that they may really lose you as a supply for their ego.  Remember in the past when they used these tactics, it worked and always brought you back to them.

Hold tight, you’ll make it through. ¬†And if at the end of it all the person no longer wishes to have you in their life, then you will have learned a lot of valuable lessons.

Authenticity will remove the people from your life that do not truly love you or have your best interests in mind. ¬†In healthy¬†relationships¬†each person is important. ¬†It is not parasitic; one person does not exist to feed/sustain the other. ¬†You’ll also make room for other loving and authentic people to come into your life.

Ultimately, you can continue being your sensitive and empathetic self, but with boundaries that don’t allow people who mistreat you the¬†privilege¬†of being a part of your life.

Authenticity means knowing, loving and accepting your true self.  When you respect your authentic self, other people will no longer define who you are.  You already know.

It has taken me a long time to realize this and as I break free and unburden myself, I find myself traveling more lightly through this world.