Tag Archives: gym

Just Do You

Many of us have experienced the feeling of hope curdling into disappointment.  How about when you show up to a job with the eagerness of a kid in a candy store, bring your qualifications and experience and suddenly this awesome opportunity turns sour because your boss or coworker begins belittling, disrespecting and generally humiliating you? 

To say the least, you’re torn in two.  One part of you wants to say F-off!  Another part is still trying to figure out how to hang on despite the turn of events because you want / need to do the job so badly.  So what can you do?

Let me give you an example of something that I recently experienced and share what I decided to do.

While I was excited about the opportunity to work with a trainer who had a lot of experience in the business, after a couple of meetings, that excitement turned into a mixture of anxiety and disgust.

I watched him interact with other clients during a group class and I was disappointed by the disrespectful tone in which I heard him address people.  Picture this, there I am cycling away like a little gerbil while watching him bully his “target” until they would give in and stop protesting.  Needless to say my motivation dropped significantly after this.  I started to question what this guy’s training philosophy was.

After the class, I asked him if he could give me an idea of what the plan was for working together as I understood he would provide the clients, take a cut and I’d train them. When I asked him during the first meeting I couldn’t really get a straight answer, so I tried again. 

ImageThis is when he decided to trash my credentials, belittle my training experience, and tell me that nobody trains his clients until they’ve learned “his” way.  As if this weren’t enough he went on to say that I need to think about whether I want to work with him since I seem like I think I know it all and want to start my own business. 

I called him on his claims and he had nothing to back it up.  I also reminded him that he already knew I had my own clients, so why is it a problem now when it wasn’t 2 days ago?  Again, nothing.

We were supposed to meet in a few days after I checked out another gym where I’d be training some clients.  As time went on, I couldn’t shake this sick feeling building up inside of me.  I tried everything I could think of to make it ok somehow, but I couldn’t work it out in my head. 

Basically, it came down to a few of decision making questions:

1.  Q.  Even if he were respectful on the next meeting, would I be ok working with him on a        
           continuous basis?
     A.  No. Because if a person can switch that much in personality from one meeting to the next,
          it’s a set up for a world of hurt.

 2.  Q.  Are our training philosophies compatible?
      A.  No. I believe in training people utilitizing positive reinforcement and encouragement.  I’m
          tough but in a
way that I show you that you can do more than you think.  He on the other  
          hand thinks that “breaking 
someone down” to get them to submit to his every whim is the
          way to get results.

3.  Q.  Is this the only opportunity I will have to work with a well experienced trainer in my career?
     A.  Not if I don’t want it to be. 

I think that number 3 is what trips a lot of people up.  This was actually my hardest one.  It is this feeling of foreboding that if you don’t make this work, then there will be no other chance.  It’s fatalistic thinking.  As if you should take the abuse and somehow you’ll be better off in the end if you just “hang in there”. 

This is about the time, you have to reach deep down and dig up your last shred of self-respect and walk the hell away ASAP.

It took me three days of contemplating, before I let him know, that this is not going to be a good fit and I need to cancel our next appointment. 

Am I disappointed? Yes.
Do I feel better having held on to my values?  No doubt. 
Do I know what’s next? Absolutely not! 

I want to be the best trainer I can be, but I am not willing to compromise my integrity or values because then I’m really not my best after all.

I believe that when you draw a line in the sand and stand up for who you are, eventually, you are surrounded mostly by like minded people who help you get where you want to go and feel good along the way.

What’s your take?

With love from aneternaltraveler 😉

Advertisements

Don't Give Up on Yourself!

Image

Recently I was in a car accident within a couple of weeks of accepting a brand new job.  I was T-boned on the drivers side and my car was totaled.  I suffered a concussion and sprained my neck.  The doctor told me that because I worked out so much, I got away pretty lucky because my body could sustain the impact better than someone who wasn’t so physically fit.  Still, I had a lot of healing to do.

Leading up to this, I was working out 6 days/week at that time doing a 6 week to shred program (Jim Stoppani’s 6-week Shortcut to Shred…highly recommend it). I was studying to become a personal trainer.  I felt amazing physcially, mentally and emotionally.  Even though my life was hardly in any kind of perfect working order, it felt manageable.

After my car wreck, I couldn’t work out for awhile so that I could heal completely (doctor’s orders).  That was really tough.  I felt like I lost another part of myself.  I continued to work both of my jobs with some days being 13 hrs on my feet.  I’m typically a very highly energetic person, but I was wiped out.  My energy was at an all time low point.  

At some point I think I just gave up on myself.  I stopped working out completely for almost 3 months and ended up on the couch more nights than I’d like to mention ordering delivery.  Sometimes, I’d skip dinner completely and just order 3 pieces of chocolate cake.  It felt like I had no time or energy anymore to do the other things that were important to my well-being.  I just worked and ate, rinse and repeat.  I felt terrible. I had really let myself go.

Today I made up my mind to hit the gym and get started again.  Hell or high water I was going directly after work.  I packed my gym bag the night before and threw it in the passenger seat on my way to work to remind me. I took the advice I give others – even if it is just 20 min. it is better than sitting on the couch.  Do something.  You’ll feel better.

So, I jumped on the arc trainer for 20 minutes.  I still felt ok, so I eyed up the weight area and said longingly, well I guess I could do a few curls. Aerosmith was blasting in my ears and kept me going. Before I knew it I had been there over an hour!!  

As I was driving home, I realized how good I felt in my body and mind again.  When I arrived and set my things down it was chore time. Suddenly, all the little chores that have been pissing me off for the past few months seemed easier and faster to get done.  The dishwasher was emptied, clothes put away, cat litter box scooped, cats fed, dinner made, mail sorted all within less than an hour.  

Sometimes in life, we get so busy that we give up the things that made us feel good.  Sometimes we can let one bad event snowball into a whole bunch of other bad habits. We stop taking care of ourselves and hope we can function on an empty tank.  WE CAN’T!! But you can pick yourself up and get back on track.  One day at a time. Small steps.  You’ll get there again. 

Hitting the gym was a huge part of my life.  It made me feel good in every way.  I released the stress of the day so it didn’t pile up into the next day.  Releasing endorphins helped me relax.  I was physically stronger.  Life went smoother and I could think clearly. Frankly, I was a whole lot more pleasant to be around too!

So when YOU think about giving up those good habits that keep your tank full, think again!  Take care of YOU first and everything else will fall into and out of place.  What’s meant to be there will stay and what you’re meant to let go of will fall away.  

Personally, I got a really good wake up call today and I’m going to keep working out.

What will you do to take care of yourself better ?

Thanks for stopping by…be good to yourself.

— Don’t just be a follower, be a leader.  Leave a comment and start a discussion. — aneternaltraveler