Tag Archives: joy

Fly into the Light, Butterfly

Like a worm in a cocoon we are unaware of the transformation taking place until the moment we emerge a butterfly.

As the season that represents the hopes and dreams of the world is upon us once again, I find myself  filled with a hope and joy in my life I haven’t felt since 2003. 12 years in the making. I nearly gave up many times. It has been a long journey; at times very painful. Nonetheless, I have finally arrived. Today, I realized it all at once.

I haven’t been on a solo travel adventure  in some time.  As I left my house this morning my luggage lightly packed to leave room for possibilities, I stood on my front porch and taking a deep breath I thought – you’re really happy aren’t you?

I am at peace.  I finally care about something again.  In my teaching, I have purpose.  They help me be a better person and I help them too. I have great friends. I haven’t found that one special guy yet, but I’m enjoying dating 4 different men of interest in the meanwhile 🙂  I make a good salary finally and found a way to make extra money and paid off all my student loans.  I am debt free.  In 3 months I took my 7th graders to great success in an engineering competition where they were 5 of only 12 students in two counties to be awarded “outstanding engineers” and have lunch with the Chief Scientist of NASA. My life is on the rise again after fighting in the trenches so long. 12 long years.

I’m estranged from my mother who left me on Mother’s day, yet to return again. I have made peace with her choice and learned there are some things you cannot control.  One of those things is how people choose to behave and interact with the world.  Sometimes the greatest gift you can give someone is to let them go. Many times she asked me to leave her life. I wasn’t listening.  Now I hear loud and clear.  At about the same time my ex-boyfriend had left and my pet of 16 years died.  The timing of those two relationships ending was the peak of the tragedy over these 12 years. I spent much of the summer recovering from two big blows. I was really alone with myself once again.

After I came out of it all, I began to map out how I wanted the future to look. I became very clear on what I would and would not accept into my life. I thought a lot about what I wanted to focus on.  I made a plan. I stayed focused.  And you know what? I’ve been knocking it out of the park.  My goals are from my soul so working towards them feels in harmony with who I am.  When I FEEL that connection, I know I’m on the right path.

I also made the choice to have a serious talk with my doctor to manage a debilitating health concern when I finally couldn’t continue to have any quality of life without beginning medication. It is something that no one knows about and I’ve kept private for a very long time.

“Coming out”, if you will, freed my soul and allowed me to accept the whole me. Walking into the sunlight helped me love myself better.  In the end seeking treatment instead of suffering all these years was a great act of self-love.  Everyday I am happy I made the choice and my only wish is that I had made it sooner. That conversation with my doctor saved my life.

So, now I head to the red rocks and sunshine of health-conscious Sedona to introduce myself to the world of butterflies.  A new beginning; surrounded by some of the best of natures’ creation, I will spread my newborn wings and fly towards that which brings joy, peace, and health.  I look forward to witnessing the vastness of the Grand Canyon and drinking in the elixer of possibility seeing both my smallness and my greatness at once.

As  I go into the new year, I have but one resolution – to keep flying towards the light.

—- With love this holiday season from aneternaltraveler ❤

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Who’s Changing Who’s Life?

Offically about 1 month into my first year as a science teacher and overall I have to say it was one of the best career decisions I’ve ever made.

I truly love the subject matter. I enjoy reaching the kids and engaging them. I even have gotten through some major challenges like breaking up a fist fight in my class or having one of the boys make a sexually explicit gesture towards me.

I teach 150 7th grade students everyday. My day starts at 5:30 am and I usually leave school 12 hrs. later. I eat lunch with the kids I’ve called in to get their work done and keep from failing. I write parents every Monday so they knows what’s coming up and in my off time I have more meetings and have decided to head the after school STEM Club. 

I LOVE what I get to do. I’ve never felt a greater sense of purpose in my life. I now understand what they mean when they say, do what you love and you’ll never “work” a day in your life. I bust my butt day in and day out, but I don’t want to miss a day watching them blossom and grow.  So, in sickness and health, I am committed to these 150 amazing and unique people 100%.

Just wanted to check-in and let you know where my attention has been lately and why I’ve been less prolific.

With love from aneternaltraveler 😉

Getting Comfortable with Uncertainty

Today I was thinking about how often we try to force things to arrive at a specific outcome. More often than not we become really frustrated — regardless of whether we achieve our stated goal.

It is as if we are uncomfortable trusting that things will work out as they are meant to. We need added security that we will get what we set out for. So we push and we demand and worry and plan far ahead for any eventuality we may encounter. 

We end up missing out on the experience of the journey in an attempt to “control” things that are beyond our control. We rarely appreciate the present moment for what it has to offer because we are 10 steps ahead in a reality that hasn’t even occured or may not ever occur.

Let’s say you have a dream you want to turn into reality. If you are seriously ready to pursue it you’ll start doing research,  networking & making connections with others who have done what you want to do.  Imagine you meet someone who could be your mentor but you’re not sure where this relationship will lead you or when you’ll be paid to do the work you love.

This is where the choice to trust & accept uncertainty (live in the present moment) vs. forcing an outcome (living in the future) comes into play.

If you trust yourself and trust the person your working with and you seem to be headed towards your dream, why ruin it with predictions?

Can you honestly say that there has ever been a time in your life where forcing something has ever turned out for the best? Did you enjoy the journey? I highly doubt it.

On the other hand, recall a time where you were doing something you loved and got lost in the flow of it. Did you worry what would happen next or how far ahead you’d get or how much money you’d make? Nah…you probably just lost track of time doing what you’re passionate about and you felt great afterwards. You were in the zone, fully in the present moment, lovin life.

Your happiness in life is directly proportional to the level of uncertainty you are comfortable with.

People who are comfortable with uncertainty stay in the present moment. They trust themselves & those around them who are sharing their path. They believe that they are exactly where they are meant to be at this moment. They’ve turned in their dream to the universe and trusted that it would provide  answers about what to do next when the time was right. They don’t preoccupy themselves with worry because they know that it doesn’t change anything to do so . They accept that all they have to do is act when that time comes.  Meanwhile, they enjoy each step along the way with joy and gratitude.

Remember, comfort with uncertainty is not the same as complacency.  You still have to act when the time is right. 

I’m bringing across the idea that when we force something or worry, all we are really saying is that we are really low on trust & refuse to live in the moment. We miss out on all the good stuff life has to offer and diminish our hapiness in life. 

It’s either doing that and being miserable or becoming comfortable with uncertainty and radiating  happiness & joy from one moment to the next.

Totally up to you.

With love from aneternaltraveler 😉

Light Your Fire and Let the Rest Go

“All it takes is a willingness to let go.”

When I used to think about what it took to transform your life, I thought it meant that you had to focus on adding more good stuff to your life. I think subconsciously I already felt like I had enough occupying the spaces in my brain, so over time I gave up.  It became too much to keep reorganizing and making everything fit.

Recently, I decided to just be willing to open my mind to seeing what brings me joy.  And you know what I discovered?  

Successfully transforming your life is way more about what you let go of, not what you hold on to.

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When we start to focus on what makes us happy and say YES! to it, it seems like more of it shows up and it gets easier to recognize. Also, I’ve noticed that I’m suddenly getting into conversations with people who I didn’t even know shared my interests.  It’s like you start to send out “Bat Signals” subconsciously and people who pick up on it start coming into your life.  Additionally, those who are on a different wavelength keep moving past you like you have a Teflon coating 🙂  Pretty cool, huh?

This “phenomenon” has been happening to me more frequently and it’s really caught my attention.  It finally clicked that when we make a conscious decision to focus on what brings us joy, the “stuff” that doesn’t really do it for us falls away and very naturally makes room for the things that do.  I imagine if you do this long enough, you have a pretty happy, clutter-free mind and feel quite content with your life.

It reminds me of all the clutter-clearing I’ve been doing in my house over the past year or so.  I made up my mind that I am only going to allow things in my house that I really want.  Before you knew it I had sold a bunch of items on craigslist and gave away 50-60 boxes of dead weight.  I feel lighter.  It’s easier to find things.  I know what I have. And most of all, I really enjoy the space.

If I were to compare the way I initially thought about life transformation to owning stuff in my house, that would mean that I basically thought I’d have to add more to my house to be happier.  I’d have to make room for more!! Crazy talk!!  I would never think that makes sense, but here I was applying that same philosophy to my own well-being.

“It seems so obvious now that the key to happiness lies in recognizing what lights our fire AND knowing what we can let go of.”

Tell me about how your life was changed by learning the art of “letting go” and focusing on what revs you up.

With love from aneternaltraveler 😉