Tag Archives: Positivity

Assault of the Mind

Today was another day of waking up to a roll call of my failures and shortcomings.  All before I even opened my eyes.

Sometimes, I stay paralyzed in this state for a good 15 min. while I get the shit beaten out of me.

At some point, another dude shows up and says, “C’mon now, it’s not that bad.  I love you & we’re gonna be ok.”  I have to hear this repeated over and over in order to release the physical paralysis and get up.

Tired Before I Get the Day Started

Do I have to get out of bed?
Do I have to get out of bed?

Needless to say, this is an extremely exhausting way to begin my day. Often it will take me until afternoon to start feeling ok.  It makes it hard for me to focus on the things I set out to accomplish.  Often, I’m too exhausted to do much else after just managing these assaults all day long.  This, of course, folds back on itself creating “proof” that the asshole in my head just might be right after all.

Of Two Minds

Wait a minute!! Who's in charge here?
Wait a minute!! Who’s in charge here?

Research shows that the conscious mind averages about 40 bits of information/secondapproximately 1-3 events at a time. The subconscious mind however takes on an average of 4 BILLION bits of information/secondso literally THOUSANDS of events at a time!!!

If these two were in a fight to get the message across the fastest, who would you put your money on to win?? If you said the subconscious, congratulations…you’re a little richer.

If you are one of the many people out there, like myself, who have jumped on the “law of attraction / affirmation” bandwagon in order to feel better about your life, you may have also noticed that it’s not quite cutting the mustard.  Why not?  Well, I’m glad you asked 🙂

First, we read all these books or watch the videos and we “think” Aha!  I’ve got the secret.  Soon, after much practice…we say something like…wait a minute, it’s not working.

That’s where the gurus typically tell us that we are not trying hard enough and we are affirming our negativity.

Try harder!!
Try harder!!

I don’t know about you, but there is nothing more I hate than someone telling me I’m failing because I’m not “trying hard enough”, especially when I”m giving everything I’ve got.

I believe that’s both unfair and unhelpful.  It gives you absolutely no insight whatsoever.  To make some headway (pun intended hehehe), first you have to understand a little bit about the purpose of the conscious and the subconscious parts of the mind.

Conscious vs. Subconscious

Conscious –  uses logic & reason, anything you CHOOSE to do, past & present, filter for your belief system (the judge/bouncer)

Subconscioususes emotions, involuntary actions, always in the present, core of your belief system and memories

Let’s use an example.  Based on my experience of being bitten by a big dog I trusted, my subconscious has stored a memory of the event and a belief that ALL big dogs are dangerous and I should stay away.  When I see a big dog my conscious mind is alerted by the subconscious that there is danger and it logically chooses to avoid contact to keep me safe from perceived danger based on my belief system.

Now, let’s imagine you try to create a conscious affirmation that “ALL big dogs are safe” because you’re tired of being scared.  Hmmm…it isn’t working.  Well that’s because your conscious mind says these words and then dutifully checks in with the subconscious belief system and learns that the subconscious says…hell no.  So basically, you can say all you want, but if the subconscious says bullshit, all bets are off.  You are still afraid of big dogs.

The Powerless Feeling of Positive Thinking

In my own life, without realizing it, I’ve habitually and chronically adopted some beliefs deep down that prevent me from achieving what I say I want out of life.  This is really demoralizing and depressing.

You start to get pissed at yourself because, you’ve tried to convince yourself to believe differently through affirmations and you’ve failed.  You start to think well maybe I really am useless, messed up, broken, etc. So now you’re basically afraid AND feel like a failure.  Cool.  So much better. Thanks.

If this sounds familiar, first of all take a deep breath.  You’re not the only one who has tried the power of positive thinking and felt at your wits end.

It is enormously helpful to understand that, you simply cannot consciously do what you subconsciously don’t believe without creating a moral dilemma.

That is the whole basis of the conflict, misery, and discontent you feel inside.

When these “two minds” are aligned we can be successful, when they are not we are in conflict with ourselves and others. PERIOD.

If you wonder why you say you want to do one thing, but seem to quit before you start, or half-way through, or lose it after you get it, this is why. It is almost impossible for us to achieve a goal if we hold subconscious beliefs that are in conflict with that goal. Your subconscious mind will find a way to sabotage you at some point in the process.

Any time the conscious is distracted or offline the subconscious takes over the reigns of control.  So, that’s why I wake up to the jackhammering sound of my subconscious every morning for a while until my super slow conscious comes back online to get me up and going like a good project manager.

Your Head is Like an 8-Track Player with One Tape to Play

Most of us have heard about the “tapes” that play in our heads.  This is another way to approach talking about the subconscious mind.  Sometimes, it is really hard to tweeze out the messages that are constantly replaying in our minds because they play so quickly.  If your’e lucky you have great positive messages playing, but for many of us, that’s not the case.  Today, I wrote mine down immediately after my conscious mind got me up.

I’m going to share them with you because, I have a feeling you might think you’re the only one this is happening to and you’re cracking up.  You’re not alone.  I can’t promise that you’re not cracking up ;p

You little worm...
You little worm…

Here are the ramblings of my subconscious (my tapes) that I hear every morning and whenever I feel insecure and my conscious can’t keep it under control.

Why don’t you just kill yourself?  You always take on more than you can handle.  You know you are going to fail, so why do you even try? Sooner or later you’re going to be homeless and living on the street.  Nobody loves you.  Nobody cares about you.  You are insignificant.  Fucking loser.  You can barely keep it together.  Why do you even bother getting up day after day? You are not good enough.  You are not smart enough.  You’re a fraud. You suck with people.  Nobody would ever want to be your friend.  Everyone see that you are a problem.  If they don’t see it yet, give it time.

Whew!! I read these aloud and began sobbing uncontrollably half-way through.  Day after day of waking up to this barrage of abuse.  Knowing it is lying just beneath the surface of my consciousness threatening to undo me with the right trigger, makes it damn hard to get much out of life.

What do your tapes play?  See if you can write it down and then read it back to yourself.  How did you feel?

Prolonged Exposure Therapy?

I recalled reading about a “prolonged exposure therapy” developed by U. Penn psychologist Edna Foa to help veterans with PTSD.  It has been enormously successful, but it works contrary to the way most of us deal with trauma (by avoiding talking about it or discouraging survivors to dwell).  Basically, this therapy encourages you to talk about it /tell your story over and over until it minimizes or eliminates the PTSD entirely.  If we don’t talk about things, they don’t magically disappear.  They fester.

Prolonged exposure therapy is now also being successfully used to help survivors of rape and sexual assault to deal with their PTSD.  It has been shown to be more effective than conventional therapy.  After exposure therapy, 83% of these girls no longer had the diagnosis of PTSD vs. 54% who received conventional supportive counselling. Even their depression and daily functioning improved significantly with exposure therapy.

It got me thinking about how the tapes we play in our heads operate in our lives in a very similar way as PTSD in that they both can take over your life and belief system to negative affect.  Ultimately, in both situations a trauma has occurred that has affected your belief system AND is making life unmanageable.

Could a version of this “prolonged exposure therapy” help us to manage our crippling fears and beliefs that negatively impact our lives so that we may move past the trauma and towards creating the life we really want to live?

Experimenting with Conscious Exposure to Subconscious Tapes

Step 1: I decided to begin by recording myself saying all the messages I hear on my tapes in the same mean way I hear them everyday.

Step 2: Then, I played the recording over and over and over while I visualized someone outside of me saying these things to me/about me.

Step 3: Each time I listened, I rated my emotional reaction on a scale of 1 (least affected) – 10 (most distressed).

Step 4: When I need a break, I either go to a safe place in my mind or I get up and go to another room to create a sort of “environmental reset”.

My theory is that I “know” somewhere deep inside that the things on these tapes are bullshit….somewhere beneath the trauma and the entrenched belief system.

I hope that by courageously facing the fear of hearing those words and feeling the feelings that go with them head on, I can get to the point that I recognize it as false, reject it as untrue, and desensitize myself to the emotional terrorism I feel day after day so I can have my whole life back again with a much better belief system.

Then maybe we can talk affirmations 😉

 

– With love from aneternaltraveler 😉

 

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You Are Ok As Is

Before you read this, make sure that you are in a place where you will be undisturbed for at least 15 minutes.  Pull your car over and sit inside if there is no place at work or home.  Just find a place where you can be alone.

Imagine for a moment that it is the beginning of a new day.  You lay in bed and feel the way the sun warms your face and the way your body has relaxed into your bed. Even though your eyes remain closed they can sense that daylight has come as the brightness seeps through your eyelids. A brand new day is upon us.

Before your first thoughts of the day begin racing through your head, breathe. Really inhale and exhale.  Do this 5 times. Now, feel the weight of your body on the surface beneath you.  With your eyes still closed, smile. Keep the smile on your face and keep breathing slowly.

Sense how beautiful you are when you smile.  Imagine the beauty of your face.  Notice how your whole body feels when you smile. Perhaps a tear comes to your eye since you haven’t thought much about that in a while.

Imagine if at this moment before you even open your eyes and begin your day, you are just right as you are.  Imagine that you are filled with amazing strengths and capabilities.  Imagine that your weakness are less important than your strengths.  Imagine your greatest strengths lie just beneath your weaknesses.  Imagine that you don’t need to be fixed. Imagine that you are not broken.  You are ok as is.

Imagine that you already have all the tools you need to have a great day. Imagine that you can handle whatever comes your way.  Imagine that every person you meet and every situation you find yourself in is temporary.  Imagine that your happiness is as fleeting as your sadness.  It is a moment. It is not permanent.

Imagine smiling when your heart is breaking simply because you know that moments are just that — moments.  And at any moment we choose we can look at something another way.  We can start a chain reaction in our minds, bodies and lives with just a smile.

Go on hold that goofy smile a little longer than it feels natural to do.  You might start laughing. Feel your mind shift. Each breath you take reminds you that your heart is beating, your body is working, your mind is firing away. You are a beautiful, capable, whole and vital being.  You are not broken.  You are still ok as is.

Now, quickly name 5 things you are grateful for while you continue to smile and breathe.  Don’t over-think it. Just name them.

You’ve come into this earth as uniquely as each and every one of us has. You have a purpose on this earth as you are.  There will never be a more perfect version of you than you.  You see the world differently than I do. You share yourself with others differently. You cry about things that I may not and you laugh at things that other people don’t think are funny.  You make love as your body, mind, and spirit guide you to do.  All uniquely you.  You cherish people who love you and you can be hurt by those who harm you too.  But you are still ok as is.

Allow yourself to feel what you do, but remember and never forget that these feelings don’t define you.  They are reactions and reactions can change as we change what we choose to see in our view.  I am me and you are you and each and every day we can only do the best we can do.  There is no more, no less and there is stress when we forget that others have the right to do what they want to do too. But so do you. We look at what we see as limits and we think that is all we can do.  You are not what you think and most of the time we have a limited view.

We respond as we’ve learned to, but there is something we can do.  Let yourself accept yourself as you are.  Don’t try to squash it or fake it or put it in a cake and bake it just to make it more palatable for those around you. You are still ok as is.  Ok as You.

If what you do does not give you the results you want, then change it.  If you don’t know how right now, find a way. You have everything you need to do what you need to do.  And you have what you need to make changes too. As you go on your journey continue to acknowledge that you are still ok as is.  Just simply be willing to change how you do what you do because you want a different result than is coming to you.  That is all.  No judgement, shaming, blaming or guilt.  It doesn’t matter how long the journey is as long as you are on a path towards your goal.

Finally, remember that there will be uncertainty.  We actually control far less than we think.  Happiness in life is directly proportional to how much you can let go of and how comfortable you can become with uncertainty. Trust yourself. You don’t have to know how or when you will get there all at once.  Take one step, then another. Trust. Just trust that you are still ok as is and have everything you need to get to where you want to go.

This is your journey and it all begins with the willingness to take the first step.  Then another and another until you have created the momentum to step without wondering if you can.  Each step, feel the firm ground beneath your feet.  You are safe.  You are enough.  You are ok as is.

With love from aneternaltraveler 😉

Just Do It (woosh ;)

It’s taken me over a year of working in a gym & being asked by members to train them after they saw the intensity & results of my workouts, just to work up the courage to become a certified personal trainer.

I promised myself I’d make this happen by the end of 2013. On December 30th 2013, I passed the test with flying colors and it was official.

My next obstacle was finding the courage to follow-through on the leads I’d gotten for clients.

Since I promised myself that I would do whatever it takes in 2014 to stay positive, find the courage to act despite my fears & create the life I want, I realized this was going to be my chance to put my money where my mouth is and make it happen.

So I picked up the phone, sent out those emails & texts and gave it everything I got to follow through on those leads. Feel the fear, do it anyway!

You know what happened? I got a client who signed up for 6 months of training 3 days a week with me! I also passed a pre-screening interview  with a master trainer who’s been in the business 35 years & has trained Olympic athletes. We’re meeting face-to-face on Wed. to discuss how we can work together on training a wide variety of clients!

The point is this – no matter how much you study or how scared you feel, at some point all your effort only counts when you make a move and keep making them.

Sometimes that move is a real leap of faith. For example, I have no idea where all these opportunities will lead. I am nervous. But without a doubt, I’m sure to learn something of value.

Sometimes, we have to remind ourselves that we don’t have to be perfect to be acceptable. Do you know what I mean by this?

Too often low self-esteem or sense of perfectionism, or fear of capability is lurking behind our unwillingness to take a leap; a risk on ourselves.

Here’s a secret..

You’ll never be perfect. You will be afraid sometimes. You will feel insecure. You will fail. You will succeed. You will always have something to learn. You are more capable than you realize.

You’re allowed to feel all that and go for your dreams anyway. If you wait until you’re 100% sure, you’ll never get off the ground.

So go ahead…take a risk..screw it up…get back up..because you learned something…be proud of yourself…some people never even try…let them laugh from the sidelines..let ’em try to tell you how the game is played while you’re the one getting bloodied up in the ring.

I was amazed with what happened when I took a risk on myself; when I moved my potential into action. I couldnt help but imagine where I’d already be if I took that risk 1 year ago when first felt it?

What are you holding yourself back from? What could your life look like if you made a move? What are you waiting for?

With love from aneternaltraveler 😉

All Talk, No Action

ImageToo often we get distracted by the pretty sounding words that spill out so easily from another person’s mouth.  We are kept in place and held up from creating meaningful relationships with people who go beyond words and show you how they feel.

How often have you encountered someone who says things like,

“I miss you”

“I love you”

“We should get together”

“I support you”

…but they make no effort to show you?

You can say you love me, you miss me, you want to get together, or whatever else you want, but if you don’t make the effort and show me, then you may as well not say it at all.  

When you base your decisions and life choices on people who offer little more than words, you are denying yourself a world of genuine happiness and authenticity.

Do you have friendships with people who say they miss you, but never make and effort to see you?  Are you in a romantic relationship where the person says, I love and support you, but there is no evidence that this is the case or they even sabotage your efforts when the time for action comes?  Are you that person?  Think long and hard.  This is not a dress rehearsal.  You get one shot at life.

How many times have you ignored the lack of evidence and continued to hang on to the words instead?  How long have you been waiting for the other person to make it happen?  How much space have you given people in your life that don’t demonstrate that they value you in theirs?  Have you ever been the one to give someone false hope?

Friendships, romantic relationships, professional relationships require effort from all parties involved in order to be successful for all parties involved.  Every time you allow someone to stay “rent free” (that is; all talk, no action) in your life, you are diminishing your own happiness and giving space to emotional freeloaders.  The same applies for those who string people along to avoid taking action in their own lives.  You don’t get a free pass.

ImageTo turn it all around, begin by just noticing the people in your life that are following through on what they say and those who are not.  Just take notice.  You’ll be surprised how just seeing the lack of evidence will give you a reality check in your life.

When you’re ready to make the change into a life filled with people who SHOW you, not just TELL you, here’s a little “empowerment mantra” I developed which you can borrow to keep you on track:

“Please understand that in order for me to take you seriously, you’ll have to make an actual effort to bring your said desire into reality with me.  Please also understand that the available space in my life is only reserved for those who will follow-through.”

You can have the life you want, but it all starts with taking off the blinders in your current reality and making the effort yourself to focus on quality of life.

——Please share your thoughts on how your life changed when you got real about the “talkers” vs. the “doers” in your life.—–

–With love from aneternaltraveler 😉

Quitting Negative Thinking is Like Quitting Smoking

If you’ve been following along, you know that I’ve been working on finding useful ways to transform my life by changing the way that I think.  I really have to concentrate all day on consciously thinking positively, stopping negative thoughts as they enter and rerouting them.  I feel like a traffic cop.  To be honest just doing it for a couple of days has made me feel pretty tired mentally.

Today I woke up and I was feeling good and had some great things happen – like my neighbor bringing over the shut-off valve or offering to let me borrow his leaf blower.  As the day wore on I noticed that I was feeling anxious and panicky.  The tension turned into a knot in my neck and eventually a headache.

I couldn’t understand what was happening at first.  I tried everything I could think of; breathing deeply, repeating my affirmations, lying down for a bit, getting active, distracting myself.  Nothing was even taking the edge off and it only made the panic worse.  Meanwhile, I had to head out to the store to exchange some things I’d bought online and so I had to get a move on.

I hopped into my car and said, “Dear universe please help me understand.  I am at a total loss.”  No answer. Ugh.  I started getting mad at myself.  I felt like I didn’t understand.  I spent the whole car ride just trying to breath away the tightness in my chest.

My whole trip was a mess.  The traffic was awful.  The GPS took me to the wrong place (the store had moved and my GPS didn’t have an updated location).  When I arrived, there was construction and people were frustrated in the parking lot looking for a spot.  There was a lot of aggression around me.  I get into the store and head towards customer service and there is a line out to the front door. Inhale, exhale, keep listing things I’m grateful for. Damn it!  Why isn’t this working already!!!???

I finally get my items exchanged and pick up a few more things in the store.  As I’m standing in line, I reach for a drink and this lady behind me pushes her cart flush against the back of mine.  I said, “Mam, could you back up your cart so I can get in here?”  She proceeds to tell me that “I have issues” and then bumps her cart against my bottom.  I grabbed her cart and said, “yes mam I do have issues and one of them is you banging your cart against me.  I need you to stop doing this.”  That’s when she decides to call me “a dumb white bitch with issues who has parents who are fuc*** up like me.”  At this point I turned away and the man behind the check out counter says, “Just let it go.  It’s not worth it.  Don’t let her get to you.”  I take yet another couple hundred deep breaths while the lady continues to insult me without pause.”

Finally, I get out to my car, pop a few ibuprofen and pray that I just make it home safe and sound.

As I’m driving home, the answer to my earlier request comes to me (“dear universe please help me understand”) in the strangest of ways.  “It’s like you felt in the beginning when you quit smoking”.  And it clicked.

I smoked for 15 years and though I knew it wasn’t good for me, I couldn’t find the motivation to quit for all those years.  I tried halfheartedly several times, but I always went back. The longest I quit was a month.  I saw the negative impact it had, but I was also pulled towards the familiar, the comfortable, the cycle of addiction itself.  It was a part of my life for better or for worse.

About 8 months ago, I woke up one day and said I’m done smoking.  I put on the patch, grabbed my nicotine gums and I knew deep inside I wasn’t going back.  I was ready.  It finally hurt enough.

During the first 2 months I went through so many mental, emotional and physically uncomfortable changes, that there were many times that I started to question my choice.  I reminded myself that although – I can’t focus, incessantly think about smoking, my stomach is constantly upset, I’m bloated, I’m getting ulcers in my mouth, can’t sleep, feel constantly irritated, cry out of nowhere, etc. – going back to smoking now just means that someday I’ll have to go through this whole process again. That kept me going.  8 months later, I’m so glad I made the change even though in the beginning I was in hell and I had zero proof that it would be better for me.  In fact, it was much worse!

So when the universe answered me that “this is just like when you quit smoking”, it all made sense.  The “habit” of negative thinking is something that develops over many years.  It becomes so much a part of your life that it is second nature.  What’s more, most of us were raised with the idea that criticizing what someone does will lead to better behavior.  You may get the desired behavior, but you also get a lot of shame and guilt passed on with it and that all comes out somewhere too.  So we grow up and beat the crap out of ourselves and others because that’s what we know how to do.

To change a thinking pattern that’s not only ingrained in your mind, but in the mind of a whole social structure is no small task.  You could say we’re all addicted to a way of thinking and don’t even realize it.  For some people, it becomes uncomfortable enough that they are ready to change.  I felt this when I was finally ready to quit smoking and I feel it now as I work moment to moment to change my thoughts towards the positive end of the spectrum.

Whether it is quitting and addiction, a way of thinking, a bad relationship or whatever else you feel burdening you, there is temptation to slip back all around you.  It takes real effort in the beginning to keep yourself on the new path.  There’s not as much proof for your new way as there is for your old way.  It’s all about having faith in the unknown, in the dark.

Today, I reminded myself that I am human.  I am to be congratulated for the steps I am taking towards creating a better life.  I am not to be criticized for struggling to get there.

Finally, I could take my first deep breath again.

To quote Louise Hay, ”

All is well.

Everything is working out for my highest good.

Out of this situation only good will come.

I am safe.

If you take away nothing else from this post remember this: 

Whenever we exert the effort to change we are working against what we’ve come to know. The mind finds comfort in the familiar.  We are creating new connections in our brains after a lifetime of doing it another way.  Be patient with yourself, be gentle with your heart, and congratulate your beautiful soul for each success no matter how small.  No more shame.  No more guilt.  Throw away the criticism once and for all.  It has never served you well and it never will.  

With love from aneternaltraveler 😉

Here’s Your Proof!

Awhile back when it was still warm enough to wash my car, I tried to connect my hose to the faucet at the front of my house.  I’d been using the back faucet and dragging the hose around to the front which was a pain.

The problem was that the inside shut off valve was broken off so I had to use a pliers to turn it on.  Every time I did that it leaked down my wall.

Broken Shut Off Valve
Broken Shut Off Valve

So this was a no go.  I am a very handy person, but I have copper pipes and I know nothing about soldering.

My neighbor saw me running in and out of the house like a lunatic trying to see what I could do to fix it.

He said, “there’s no way around it, you have to get a new valve.  So I left it alone thinking aw heck, winter is almost coming and I’ll make due until next year.

Today, I hear a knock at my door as I’m racking my brain thinking of what to write for my latest blog post.  Who’s standing there but my neighbor with a shutoff valve in hand.  He said, “Guess what I found?”  I said, “Looks like a shut off valve to me ;).”

No Soldering Required!!
No Soldering Required!!

“Yes, but you don’t have to solder with this one. It’s new technology. You just have to cut the pipe into a smooth surface, slide each side securely into the hole, and you’re done!”  “I saw it and I thought of you so here you go!”

Then, he said “Oh and by the way, my friend stopped by last week and said he saw you raking your leaves out front.  By the time I came out, you were finished.  I have a blower you can use the next time you want to clean up your yard.  Just let me know.”

I woke up today and practiced my intentions and affirmations just as I explained in yesterday’s post “Just Be Willing”.

I couldn’t help but think about the affirmation where I say that,

I trust that the universe is providing for me everything that I need and I am safe and well taken care of.

I just want to say Thank You 🙂

I follow another wonderful blog on here that I highly recommend.  It’s called Chrissie’s Take.  Just today, she posted  that perhaps because of her new found positive outlook her family is gathered around her once again.  Read Chrissie’s post here: Grinch No More – a part of her “No Negativity Challenge”.

The proof just keeps showing up for me and for others.  Change your thoughts, change your life.

With love from aneternaltraveler 😉

Just be Willing

frustration Yesterday I was down for the count with a stomach virus and that gave me a lot of time on my hands I’m not used to having.  As I thought on the changes I’d like to make in my life, I scoured the internet for resources to teach me HOW to get there.  I settled on “You Can Heal Your Life” , by Louise Hay and immediately downloaded it onto my Kindle.  I’m so glad I did.

I highly recommend this book for anyone who feels like their life isn’t working and hasn’t a clue where to start.  I devoured the book in one day and  put it into practice when I woke up this morning.

One of the chapters of her books asks you to write down all the negative things you were told as a child by adults and  compare them to the negative things you say about yourself.  Then look at what’s happening in your life and see if the negative outcomes match the negative thoughts you have about yourself.  By golly, they did!  I was hooked!

The theory here boils down to this – you get what you think you should.  So, if you think positively you should see it show up in your life the same way you do when you think negatively.

Just to give you an idea of the negative thoughts that go through my mind, I’ll make a list of my top 10.  Perhaps, you share some of these as well.

You Get What You Think

  1. Nobody is there for me
  2. Nobody respects me or sees my value
  3. Nobody listens to me
  4. Everybody picks on me
  5. I’m never happy in my jobs
  6. I’m bad with people
  7. I don’t know what I want
  8. I’m a failure at life
  9. I never have enough money
  10. I never meet the right guys

Ok, so guess what I have in my life right now with these thoughts?  I have difficulty with people at work, I don’t get respect, I am surrounded by constant conflict, don’t have enough income and I don’t in fact meet guys that feel right for me.  Surprise, surprise!!

expect good things

Change Your Mind

So, today I decided to start to retrain the brain.  I selected a few general affirmations and a few specific ones that spoke to me and repeated them throughout the day.  Here’s what I chose:

General Affirmations

  1. “I approve of myself”
  2. “I am willing to change”
  3. “I am willing to release all my resistance”
  4. “I am willing to release my need for…(ie. approval)
  5. “I now realize that I have created this condition.  I am willing to release the pattern in my consciousness that is responsible for this condition.”
  6. “I trust that the universe is providing for me everything that I need and I am safe and well taken care of.”

Specific Affirmations

  1. “I am willing to release the need to be unworthy.  I am worthy of the very best in life and I now lovingly allow myself to accept it.”
  2. “I am totally open and receptive to a wonderful new position, one that uses all my talents and abilities, and allows me to express creatively in ways that are fulfilling to me. I work with and for people whom I love, and who love and respect me, in a wonderful location and earning good money”
  3. “I am willing to release my need to be noticed”
  4. “I am willing to release my need for praise”
  5. “I choose to let go of my anger, so that I make better clearer decisions.”

Entering a Brand New Day…

As soon as my alarm clock went off I committed myself to saying 5 things I’m grateful for before I could sit up on my bed.  Then, I read the affirmations above before I was allowed to stand.  Finally, I walked to the mirror and read  http://aplacefortheheart.co.uk/louise-hay/louise-hay-affirmations/ while looking into my own eyes.

Throughout the day, I reminded myself of those affirmations.  I even brought my index card of affirmations with me in case I forgot.  When a negative thought came in, I said STOP! and replaced it with a gratitude and another affirmation.

One of the great pieces of advice that was offered is that you don’t have to know “HOW” it will happen you just have to be “WILLING”.  Basically, the change in mindset will send a signal to the universe that the expectations have changed.  Be patient and consistent.

It’s Working!

Already today, I noticed MAJOR differences.  First and foremost, I literally had ZERO conflict in my work day at either job. That’s 14 hrs conflict free. I haven’t had a day like that in months.  Even when I got a rude email, I took a deep breath replied kindly, let it go and went on about my day.

I received more smiles, more cooperation, warmer relations and even had an easier time in traffic leaving me with enough time to get some shopping done, order dinner, and get 15 min. in a massage chair all before my next job started.

The point is…it all went smoother.  I was calmer.  I felt like I was in the moment and I enjoyed my day!  This was enough to convince me to carry on using this new method.

I’m looking forward to discovering what I can create by simply changing my own thoughts.

How have you brought about change in your life by a simple shift in focus?

With love from aneternaltraveler 😉

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