Tag Archives: Thought

Unhappy…Have You Considered Trying This?

I’ve been snowed in for the past two days and it’s given me a lot of time to think. Maybe too much lol! Currently, as I’m writing to you I’m eating peanut butter cups for dinner. Yeah..time to see people again soon ūüė¶

Aaaaaanyway…what I’ve been thinking about a lot is the unhappiness that many of us feel, particularly in the USA.

It’s especially interesting to me that of all the countries I’ve traveled to, some of which were facing heart-wrenching levels of poverty, I’ve never seen unhappier people than I do in one of the richest countries of the world – the USA.

The United States is a fairly young country in the grand scheme of country ages and it was founded by opportunists who came from all over the world to make a new life. Because of this, America has long been a symbol of great innovation, opportunity and freedom around the world.

In the short time I’ve been on this earth (36 years) as an American, I’ve noticed a number of changes. I am certain that those who have been here longer have experienced far more that I’d love for you to share in my comments section.

I believe that the arrogance of our youth has cost us in many distinct ways. Just as a teenager rarely considers the consequences of their actions, I believe that we as a country often do not either.

Let me give a handful of examples though I know there are plenty more…

  1. We find ourselves continuing to think we are the best in all categories despite the continued proof that we’re not. ¬†So we don’t work to improve what we refuse to see.
  2. We too often prefer to shoot a gun at people we don’t understand at home or in other lands rather than sit down and have a conversation. So, we have lobbyists who ensure access to guns, but no lobbyists clamoring to educate our youth on conflict resolution.
  3. We are so sure that our way is the only right way. So, we force our way onto people who we make convenient assumptions about.
  4. We rarely even give ourselves a real opportunity to know others in our own country or around the world.  So we judge them without any evidence and keep ourselves at a distance.
  5. And oh…. that sense of entitlement that we are owed something without having to give back anything of ourselves. New generations have lost their work ethic.

To make matters worse, what grows out of the righteousness of our own ignorance is even more emptiness when we buy into the notion that success can be defined by material acquisition and conquest. Conquest of the world, the environment, our careers, our challenges and over other humans.

It all leads towards separation. Us vs. Them Mentality.

Maybe you’ve felt that uneasy nagging feeling that I feel and haven’t been able to put your finger on it.

When you look at how you’re asked to show up in this world, do you have to wonder anymore why it all feels like a struggle? ¬†Why it hurts? ¬†Why it is lonely? ¬†Why you feel angry and sad and lost? ¬†Why you never seem to get ahead or even know what you’re working for?

I believe that there is a divine consciousness that flows through each and every one of us. Call it by the name you choose; the Universe, God, Allah, Buddah.

It’s all the same.

It is that nagging belief somewhere deep inside that we are all connected by a power greater than the individual.  We so rarely take the time to plug into that power source. Sure, we go to our place of worship, but we miss the message. We claim spirituality and keep ourselves away from others.

We are separated from each other because we were never taught to be cooperative. We’re taught to be competitive. We strive as individuals to beat our opponent. There are winners and losers and we fight to be a winner and feel we can stand even taller when we smear the face of the “loser”.

It may seem small or insignificant and I know you’ve heard it a million times before, but I’ll say it one more time on the odd chance that this time you hear it…

The only change we can make is within ourselves. This is all we really control.

The rest is an illusion. ¬†Trying to control everything and everyone else, is what’s making us unhappy.

And when you start telling yourself that you are too small to make a difference, imagine that there are others just like you doing the same thing at this moment. Consider how your strength just multiplied.

When we all come together and go a different way, we finally become the change we want to see in this world. And I believe that’s what our recent leaders such as, Gandhi or Martin Luther King Jr., or even President Obama were trying to show us.

‚ÄúSomeday, the realm of liberty and justice will encompass the planet. Freedom is not just the birthright of the few, it is the God-given right of all His children, in every country. It won’t come by conquest. It will come, because freedom is right and freedom works. It will come, because cooperation and good will among free people will carry the day.‚ÄĚ
‚Äē¬†Ronald Reagan,¬†The Quest for Peace, the Cause of Freedom

I’d love this country to be a true leader once again. But as a more mature “individual”. Leading without it being at the expense of others. Finding compassion for ourselves and others.

As it stands we’ve lost our compassion and as such we’ve reduced people to numbers and objects to be pointed out as examples of “unfortunate people”.

And in this state, we’ve also diminished ourselves because we’ve failed to see that, we ourselves, exist in them. We are more than individuals. We are also a group of people that affect one another here and around the world.

If you get right down to it and really tune in, it’s the core message of every religion out there. It is a universal human belief across lands and cultures.

We have so much capacity as individuals and even more as a cohesive unit.


Until we realize that each persons’ well-being affects our own well-being, all of us will stay sick, lonely and separated from each other in a state of poverty no matter how much money we have.

I believe this is why so many people I’ve met in third world countries seem happier than we do. ¬†They rely on each other. ¬†They work as a unit cooperatively with each person doing their part. ¬†Together they do have more than they’d have alone.

There is enough for everyone.  Happiness is as close as our nearest neighbor.  We just have to learn to share and cooperate with one another in order to get to the next stage of our development.

Maybe we could start by¬†concentrating on what we stand for¬†instead of having another “war” against something.

What do you think?

– With love from aneternaltraveler ūüėČ

Distracting Yourself from Your Unhappiness

I was perusing the blogs at Tiny Buddha and I ran across a post called: Create Your Life: Having Nothing Can Mean Having Everything, by . There was this one line she wrote that really stood out to me and made me pause to reflect on my current circumstances:

 Life can get so busy, and often when we don’t like where our life is, we fill it with things to do so that we don’t have to think about our unhappiness.

I thought about how much my life has changed since my divorce, ¬†how dissatisfied I feel with chronically finding myself in ill-fitting jobs, and¬†the fact that I wake up everyday feeling like I’m an actress in someone else’s life.

I’ve poured myself into improving my house because it’s the one area where I feel like I am rewarded for my efforts.

But when I read that line, it hit me like a ton of bricks that I’m almost done transforming my house. ¬†What will I do with my unhappiness then? ¬†Will I continue to find distractions or is the time coming where I’ll have to face it head on and make some serious decisions?

As the questions formed in my mind, I felt the cold knife of fear tear through my chest. ¬†These past few years all I’ve done is react to trauma ¬†in survival mode. I’ve been picking up the pieces, “patch-working” my life together with the scraps I found lying around and losing my faith in hope.

I feel like the romantic I once was is buried under the harsh realities I’ve faced. I’ve experienced major trauma before, but somehow this time it has left me afraid, a little less bold in risk-taking, heavy. ¬†

Maybe my unhappiness stems from feeling like I’m trying to make due with what’s in front of me instead of creating something that’s uniquely mine. ¬†I believe that’s why fixing up my house appeals to me so much. ¬†I start with a vision of what I’d like it to be and take the steps to bring it into reality.

With my house, my vision is clear. ¬†With my life direction, it is not. ¬†And I’m running out of house which means I’m also heading right into the fog that is my life.

It seems like I’m going to be left with only 2 choices: 1) face the unhappiness or 2) find another big distraction. ¬†No matter what I choose, I have a feeling I’m about to arrive at a defining moment in my life.

Have you ever come to a crossroads like this in your life?  Tell me, what did you do?

With love from aneternaltraveler ūüėČ

Just be Willing

frustration Yesterday I was down for the count with a stomach virus and that gave me a lot of time on my hands I’m not used to having. ¬†As I thought on the changes I’d like to make in my life, I scoured the internet for resources to teach me HOW to get there. ¬†I settled on “You Can Heal Your Life” , by Louise Hay and immediately downloaded it onto my Kindle. ¬†I’m so glad I did.

I highly recommend this book for anyone who feels like their life isn’t working and hasn’t a clue where to start. ¬†I devoured the book in one day and ¬†put it into practice when I woke up this morning.

One of the chapters of her books asks you to write down all the negative things you were told as a child by adults and ¬†compare them to the negative things you say about yourself. ¬†Then look at what’s happening in your life and see if the negative outcomes match the negative thoughts you have about yourself. ¬†By golly, they did! ¬†I was hooked!

The theory here boils down to this Рyou get what you think you should.  So, if you think positively you should see it show up in your life the same way you do when you think negatively.

Just to give you an idea of the negative thoughts that go through my mind, I’ll make a list of my top 10. ¬†Perhaps, you share some of these as well.

You Get What You Think

  1. Nobody is there for me
  2. Nobody respects me or sees my value
  3. Nobody listens to me
  4. Everybody picks on me
  5. I’m never happy in my jobs
  6. I’m bad with people
  7. I don’t know what I want
  8. I’m a failure at life
  9. I never have enough money
  10. I never meet the right guys

Ok, so guess what I have in my life right now with these thoughts? ¬†I have difficulty with people at work, I don’t get respect, I am surrounded by constant conflict, don’t have enough income and I don’t in fact meet guys that feel right for me. ¬†Surprise, surprise!!

expect good things

Change Your Mind

So, today I decided to start to retrain the brain. ¬†I selected a few general affirmations and a few specific ones that spoke to me and repeated them throughout the day. ¬†Here’s what I chose:

General Affirmations

  1. “I approve of myself”
  2. “I am willing to change”
  3. “I am willing to release all my resistance”
  4. “I am willing to release my need for…(ie. approval)
  5. “I now realize that I have created this condition. ¬†I am willing to release the pattern in my consciousness that is responsible for this condition.”
  6. “I trust that the universe is providing for me everything that I need and I am safe and well taken care of.”

Specific Affirmations

  1. “I am willing to release the need to be unworthy. ¬†I am worthy of the very best in life and I now lovingly allow myself to accept it.”
  2. “I am totally open and receptive to a wonderful new position, one that uses all my talents and abilities, and allows me to express creatively in ways that are fulfilling to me. I work with and for people whom I love, and who love and respect me, in a wonderful location and earning good money”
  3. “I am willing to release my need to be noticed”
  4. “I am willing to release my need for praise”
  5. “I choose to let go of my anger, so that I make better clearer decisions.”

Entering a Brand New Day…

As soon as my alarm clock went off I committed myself to saying 5 things I’m grateful for before I could sit up on my bed. ¬†Then, I read the affirmations above before I was allowed to stand. ¬†Finally, I walked to the mirror and read ¬†http://aplacefortheheart.co.uk/louise-hay/louise-hay-affirmations/¬†while looking into my own eyes.

Throughout the day, I reminded myself of those affirmations.  I even brought my index card of affirmations with me in case I forgot.  When a negative thought came in, I said STOP! and replaced it with a gratitude and another affirmation.

One of the great pieces of advice that was offered is that you don’t have to know “HOW” it will happen you just have to be “WILLING”. ¬†Basically, the change in mindset will send a signal to the universe that the expectations have changed. ¬†Be patient and consistent.

It’s Working!

Already today, I noticed MAJOR differences. ¬†First and foremost, I literally had ZERO conflict in my work day at either job. That’s 14 hrs conflict free. I haven’t had a day like that in months. ¬†Even when I got a rude email, I took a deep breath replied kindly, let it go and went on about my day.

I received more smiles, more cooperation, warmer relations and even had an easier time in traffic leaving me with enough time to get some shopping done, order dinner, and get 15 min. in a massage chair all before my next job started.

The point is…it all went smoother. ¬†I was calmer. ¬†I felt like I was in the moment and I enjoyed my day! ¬†This was enough to convince me to carry on using this new method.

I’m looking forward to discovering what I can create by simply changing my own thoughts.

How have you brought about change in your life by a simple shift in focus?

With love from aneternaltraveler ūüėČ

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